9) The Creeping Terror
- More than a mere blow-out, the Terror clings and ascends, defying natural laws and flying in the face* of accepted science. The child is sitting upright, and yet the viscous waste has somehow scaled his body, crawling upwards to coat much of his back and, horrifyingly, even his belly. You realize this for the first time as you wrap your fingers around his body, hoping for nothing more than to cradle him in your arms. Then you feel it — the moist, unsettling dampness that heralds this most heinous of shits. Break out the bath pad; baby’s going to need a spray-down.