16) The Corn Dodger We all know what happens to corn in the digestive system. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This poo is here to remind you of this. An otherwise unremarkable misshapen, half-dollar-sized ball of waste, the Corn Dodger still manages to be slightly nauseating due to the pronounced flecks of yellow housed within its brown depths, … Continue reading Year 2, Day 186: Poop Update 11!
15) The Train You're at a crossroads. Your destination lies beyond, but your path is blocked. Before you, an unrelenting series of obstacles passes, one after the next after the next. All the plans you've made, the promises you swore to yourself you'd keep...all lost. You peer from side to side, looking for the moment … Continue reading Day 350: Poop Update 10!
Our drive home for the holidays was rocked by an emergency pit stop that involved changing a diaper in the back room of a convenience store. The beast that awaited me within this dank cave is described below. 14) The Excavator Get out your mining hat with the little light on top, because this isn't … Continue reading Day 301: Poop Update 9!
There isn't a new poo to add to the ongoing catalogue today, but this is exceedingly worthy of a mention nonetheless -- today Miles's daycare reported that he had a poop of such magnitude that not only did all of his clothes need to be replaced, but their advice was to "just throw the old … Continue reading Day 297: Poop Update 8!
13) The Popeye Look, okay, we all know who Popeye is, and we all know what he likes to eat. Honestly, the less said about this travesty, the better. Find previous entries in our ongoing poop catalogue here, here, here, here, here, here, and here!
12) "Code Red" Named for the verbal call that accompanies it, this poo requires a rapid response involving at least four (adult) hands, one load of laundry, and perhaps a team of professional cleaners. Tragedy can strike quickly, without warning. What one moment was a perfectly clean baby, onesie, pillow, and couch is suddenly rendered … Continue reading Day 203: Poop Update 6!
The increase in Miles's solid food consumption has brought with it a bold new horizon in baby poop! Venture with me, won't you? 11) The Dollop A more cohesive poo than previously encountered, the Dollop is a quaint swirl of semi-solid excrement measuring about an inch in diameter at its base and available in a … Continue reading Day 189: Poop Update 5!
10) The Blockbuster This one is different from most of the poos encountered so far, because it's the only one whose arrival can occasionally be predicted. Heralded by a preceding day with no poops of great substance, the Blockbuster is a magnificent spectacle, resulting in a dense layer of poop that encompasses every nook and … Continue reading Day 127: Poop Update 4!
9) The Creeping Terror More than a mere blow-out, the Terror clings and ascends, defying natural laws and flying in the face* of accepted science. The child is sitting upright, and yet the viscous waste has somehow scaled his body, crawling upwards to coat much of his back and, horrifyingly, even his belly. You realize … Continue reading Day 103: Poop Update 3!
A new poop approaches! 8) Swamp Thing Yielding a bright spinach-colored base and a murky, liquid consistency, this poop is forever tied to The Green. The pungent aroma that accompanies this poo is reminiscent of that smell that makes you think you must've stepped in something, but nothing appears to be on the bottom of … Continue reading Day 59: Poop Update 2!