Miles has once again produced a turd worthy of bestowing a name upon. As he sat there on the potty, he said, "The Giant's comin'." 19) The Giant Imagine a half-pound, all-beef patty, simmering in its own juices for hours before plopping down in a perfectly round, flattened mass before you. Now imagine the beef … Continue reading Year 3, Day 318: Poop Update 14!
As Miles has gotten older (and as evidenced in the previous installment of this ongoing catalogue), he's getting pretty good at naming the various styles of poop he's contending with. This one showed up last night.18) Monkey Poop I'm not sure why we're going with "monkey," but Miles seems pretty confident about it. Brought on … Continue reading Year 3, Day 167: Poop Update 13!
17) The CarrotOnce mentioned as a passing observation, this term for a long, slender, slowly emerging poo has since been adopted as a common part of Miles's poop lexicon. In Miles's words, "The Carrot" is "a big one," the completion of which must be accompanied by majestic fanfare to the tune of "doot duh-duh DOO!" … Continue reading Year 3, Day 142: Poop Update 12!
New Year's Day is famously a holiday centered on bold (possibly unrealistic) promises and embarrassing bathroom situations (well, New Year's Eve is, at least). We're taking care of making Miles's resolution for him this year, and as it happens, it will likely also lead to some toilet-related mishaps. Yes, with the holiday season behind us … Continue reading Year 2, Day 310: New Year, New Pee
16) The Corn Dodger We all know what happens to corn in the digestive system. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This poo is here to remind you of this. An otherwise unremarkable misshapen, half-dollar-sized ball of waste, the Corn Dodger still manages to be slightly nauseating due to the pronounced flecks of yellow housed within its brown depths, … Continue reading Year 2, Day 186: Poop Update 11!
15) The Train You're at a crossroads. Your destination lies beyond, but your path is blocked. Before you, an unrelenting series of obstacles passes, one after the next after the next. All the plans you've made, the promises you swore to yourself you'd keep...all lost. You peer from side to side, looking for the moment … Continue reading Day 350: Poop Update 10!
Our drive home for the holidays was rocked by an emergency pit stop that involved changing a diaper in the back room of a convenience store. The beast that awaited me within this dank cave is described below. 14) The Excavator Get out your mining hat with the little light on top, because this isn't … Continue reading Day 301: Poop Update 9!
There isn't a new poo to add to the ongoing catalogue today, but this is exceedingly worthy of a mention nonetheless -- today Miles's daycare reported that he had a poop of such magnitude that not only did all of his clothes need to be replaced, but their advice was to "just throw the old … Continue reading Day 297: Poop Update 8!
13) The Popeye Look, okay, we all know who Popeye is, and we all know what he likes to eat. Honestly, the less said about this travesty, the better. Find previous entries in our ongoing poop catalogue here, here, here, here, here, here, and here!
12) "Code Red" Named for the verbal call that accompanies it, this poo requires a rapid response involving at least four (adult) hands, one load of laundry, and perhaps a team of professional cleaners. Tragedy can strike quickly, without warning. What one moment was a perfectly clean baby, onesie, pillow, and couch is suddenly rendered … Continue reading Day 203: Poop Update 6!