Year 5, Day 286: The Final Poop Update!

Miles is now mostly self-sufficient when it comes to restroom usage. He excuses himself when he needs to go, only occasionally calling out from the bathroom when he needs help with something. This was the case tonight, and what he said was…well, it was a new one.

“Daddy!” he yelled. “I got a magnet poop!”

20) Magnet Poop

  • To paraphrase a quote from The Godfather Part III, just when you think it’s out, you pull it back in. This a poop that can’t quite seal the deal, violating the basic “Point A to Point B to Point C” contract, unwritten though it may be, between butt and toilet bowl. Maybe you need to drink more water. Maybe you need a higher fiber intake. Or maybe…this one just isn’t ready to let go. Whatever the case, opposing poles have connected, and that thing isn’t going anywhere without intervention, be it divine or otherwise.

To revisit the rest of this definitive turd index, start here! And please…do accept my sincere apologies for all of this.

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