Year 5, Day 286: The Final Poop Update!

Miles is now mostly self-sufficient when it comes to restroom usage. He excuses himself when he needs to go, only occasionally calling out from the bathroom when he needs help with something. This was the case tonight, and what he said was...well, it was a new one. "Daddy!" he yelled. "I got a magnet poop!" … Continue reading Year 5, Day 286: The Final Poop Update! →

Year 4, Day 365

Where does the time go? Somehow, it's been four whole years since Miles was born. I wouldn't believe it if it weren't for both the conversations I'm capable of having with him now and my body's rate of deterioration (NOTE: I made it through a good 38 years of my life before "feeling my age"; … Continue reading Year 4, Day 365 →

Year 3, Day 318: Poop Update 14!

Miles has once again produced a turd worthy of bestowing a name upon. As he sat there on the potty, he said, "The Giant's comin'." 19) The Giant Imagine a half-pound, all-beef patty, simmering in its own juices for hours before plopping down in a perfectly round, flattened mass before you. Now imagine the beef … Continue reading Year 3, Day 318: Poop Update 14! →

Year 3, Day 167: Poop Update 13!

As Miles has gotten older (and as evidenced in the previous installment of this ongoing catalogue), he's getting pretty good at naming the various styles of poop he's contending with. This one showed up last night.18) Monkey Poop I'm not sure why we're going with "monkey," but Miles seems pretty confident about it. Brought on … Continue reading Year 3, Day 167: Poop Update 13! →

Year 3, Day 142: Poop Update 12!

17) The CarrotOnce mentioned as a passing observation, this term for a long, slender, slowly emerging poo has since been adopted as a common part of Miles's poop lexicon. In Miles's words, "The Carrot" is "a big one," the completion of which must be accompanied by majestic fanfare to the tune of "doot duh-duh DOO!" … Continue reading Year 3, Day 142: Poop Update 12! →

Year 2, Day 186: Poop Update 11!

16) The Corn Dodger We all know what happens to corn in the digestive system. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This poo is here to remind you of this. An otherwise unremarkable misshapen, half-dollar-sized ball of waste, the Corn Dodger still manages to be slightly nauseating due to the pronounced flecks of yellow housed within its brown depths, … Continue reading Year 2, Day 186: Poop Update 11! →

Day 350: Poop Update 10!

15) The Train You're at a crossroads. Your destination lies beyond, but your path is blocked. Before you, an unrelenting series of obstacles passes, one after the next after the next. All the plans you've made, the promises you swore to yourself you'd keep...all lost. You peer from side to side, looking for the moment … Continue reading Day 350: Poop Update 10! →

Day 301: Poop Update 9!

Our drive home for the holidays was rocked by an emergency pit stop that involved changing a diaper in the back room of a convenience store. The beast that awaited me within this dank cave is described below. 14) The Excavator Get out your mining hat with the little light on top, because this isn't … Continue reading Day 301: Poop Update 9! →

Day 297: Poop Update 8!

There isn't a new poo to add to the ongoing catalogue today, but this is exceedingly worthy of a mention nonetheless -- today Miles's daycare reported that he had a poop of such magnitude that not only did all of his clothes need to be replaced, but their advice was to "just throw the old … Continue reading Day 297: Poop Update 8! →

Day 218: Poop Update 7!

13) The Popeye Look, okay, we all know who Popeye is, and we all know what he likes to eat. Honestly, the less said about this travesty, the better. Find previous entries in our ongoing poop catalogue here, here, here, here, here, here, and here!