12) "Code Red" Named for the verbal call that accompanies it, this poo requires a rapid response involving at least four (adult) hands, one load of laundry, and perhaps a team of professional cleaners. Tragedy can strike quickly, without warning. What one moment was a perfectly clean baby, onesie, pillow, and couch is suddenly rendered … Continue reading Day 203: Poop Update 6!
Tag: poop
Day 189: Poop Update 5!
The increase in Miles's solid food consumption has brought with it a bold new horizon in baby poop! Venture with me, won't you? 11) The Dollop A more cohesive poo than previously encountered, the Dollop is a quaint swirl of semi-solid excrement measuring about an inch in diameter at its base and available in a … Continue reading Day 189: Poop Update 5!
Day 127: Poop Update 4!
10) The Blockbuster This one is different from most of the poos encountered so far, because it's the only one whose arrival can occasionally be predicted. Heralded by a preceding day with no poops of great substance, the Blockbuster is a magnificent spectacle, resulting in a dense layer of poop that encompasses every nook and … Continue reading Day 127: Poop Update 4!
Day 103: Poop Update 3!
9) The Creeping Terror More than a mere blow-out, the Terror clings and ascends, defying natural laws and flying in the face* of accepted science. The child is sitting upright, and yet the viscous waste has somehow scaled his body, crawling upwards to coat much of his back and, horrifyingly, even his belly. You realize … Continue reading Day 103: Poop Update 3!
Day 90
Miles was full of adorable noises today! In fact, I tried to get some video of it. Made a second attempt a few minutes later. At least I know he's got solid comedic timing. A little "Farrelly Bros" for my tastes, but quality nonetheless.
Day 59: Poop Update 2!
A new poop approaches! 8) Swamp Thing Yielding a bright spinach-colored base and a murky, liquid consistency, this poop is forever tied to The Green. The pungent aroma that accompanies this poo is reminiscent of that smell that makes you think you must've stepped in something, but nothing appears to be on the bottom of … Continue reading Day 59: Poop Update 2!
Day 55: The Sounds of the Night-time II
I came to the slightest modicum of consciousness last night, I'm not certain of the time, to the sounds of Miles wailing. The cries were emphatic, and even in my stupor I was concerned. With half-opened eyes, I rolled over to look down to the foot of the bed, making out the shapes of both … Continue reading Day 55: The Sounds of the Night-time II
Day 53
53 days...500 DIAPERS.
Day 31: The Shit-Storm
It is with the deepest regret and shame that I confess to having missed Miles's most incredible poop thus far. I was afraid that being at work would mean missing out on significant milestones, and today marked the first time this fear was made truly manifest. I only barely missed it, arriving home just minutes … Continue reading Day 31: The Shit-Storm
Day 23: Poop Update!
Yesterday brought with it an exciting development in the poop department. 7) The Raptor Attack An attack on the unassuming, diaper-changing parent, who is likely on-guard against sudden peeing, this poop is the thing you didn't see coming. Pure liquid, projectile poop, it spews forth at a rate too fast to counter. You were doomed … Continue reading Day 23: Poop Update!
The Perils (& Pride) of Paternity 