As Miles has gotten older (and as evidenced in the previous installment of this ongoing catalogue), he's getting pretty good at naming the various styles of poop he's contending with. This one showed up last night.18) Monkey Poop I'm not sure why we're going with "monkey," but Miles seems pretty confident about it. Brought on … Continue reading Year 3, Day 167: Poop Update 13!
Category: poop
Day 350: Poop Update 10!
15) The Train You're at a crossroads. Your destination lies beyond, but your path is blocked. Before you, an unrelenting series of obstacles passes, one after the next after the next. All the plans you've made, the promises you swore to yourself you'd keep...all lost. You peer from side to side, looking for the moment … Continue reading Day 350: Poop Update 10!
Day 301: Poop Update 9!
Our drive home for the holidays was rocked by an emergency pit stop that involved changing a diaper in the back room of a convenience store. The beast that awaited me within this dank cave is described below. 14) The Excavator Get out your mining hat with the little light on top, because this isn't … Continue reading Day 301: Poop Update 9!
Day 103: Poop Update 3!
9) The Creeping Terror More than a mere blow-out, the Terror clings and ascends, defying natural laws and flying in the face* of accepted science. The child is sitting upright, and yet the viscous waste has somehow scaled his body, crawling upwards to coat much of his back and, horrifyingly, even his belly. You realize … Continue reading Day 103: Poop Update 3!
Day 59: Poop Update 2!
A new poop approaches! 8) Swamp Thing Yielding a bright spinach-colored base and a murky, liquid consistency, this poop is forever tied to The Green. The pungent aroma that accompanies this poo is reminiscent of that smell that makes you think you must've stepped in something, but nothing appears to be on the bottom of … Continue reading Day 59: Poop Update 2!
Day 55: The Sounds of the Night-time II
I came to the slightest modicum of consciousness last night, I'm not certain of the time, to the sounds of Miles wailing. The cries were emphatic, and even in my stupor I was concerned. With half-opened eyes, I rolled over to look down to the foot of the bed, making out the shapes of both … Continue reading Day 55: The Sounds of the Night-time II
Day 53
53 days...500 DIAPERS.
Day 31: The Shit-Storm
It is with the deepest regret and shame that I confess to having missed Miles's most incredible poop thus far. I was afraid that being at work would mean missing out on significant milestones, and today marked the first time this fear was made truly manifest. I only barely missed it, arriving home just minutes … Continue reading Day 31: The Shit-Storm
Day 12: A Beginner’s Guide to Baby Poop
Let's talk poop, people. This morning, Miles unleashed a mighty storm of mustard-colored excrement that it oozed and creeped its way on to most every piece of cloth in a three-foot radius. Judging from the magnitude of the poop in relation to the size of Miles's body, it is my estimation that the baby is … Continue reading Day 12: A Beginner’s Guide to Baby Poop
The Perils (& Pride) of Paternity 