Year 4, Day 247: Miles’s Fearsome Fourth Halloween!

The day Miles has been waiting months for finally arrived today and there was no question that he was going to spend the whole day celebrating. Jaclyn picked up a dozen themed donuts to get the day started.

Within moments, Miles was covered in chocolate.

After breakfast, Miles saw little reason to get dressed for the day in anything other than his Catboy costume…

…which he naturally peed in about two hours before we were going out trick or treating.

I arrived home after getting new tires (TERROR! HORROR!) to find that Miles was dressed in his Buzz Lightyear costume, and Jaclyn informed me there’d been a change of plans.

“NO,” I said, adamantly. “We’re the PJ Masks, goddammit, and PJ Masks stick together.”

(What I was really saying was, “There is no way my 40-year-old ass is dressing up as Gecko with NO context whatsoever.”)

I threw the Catboy costume in the wash and had it clean, dry, and ready for action by the time the sun started setting.

Miles had several last-minute additions to his costume, including a…cutlass?

With our candy set out on the porch (I didn’t want to stay behind, after all), a small group of us set out across the neighborhood. This is of course our first year in the new house and Miles’s first real opportunity to trick or treat in a housing development, and it certainly seemed to live up to the American ideal of what Halloween can be.

As proof, consider this — we were about halfway through the neighborhood when Miles’s candy bucket became so full it couldn’t hold any more (and he couldn’t lift it). So I ran home to grab a second pail. As I jogged home in my Gecko costume, I found myself thinking, “Why am I even doing this? How much more candy could even be IN this neighborhood?”

Well I retrieved the Darth Vader bucket anyway. And guess what? Yeah, Miles filled THAT one to the brim too.

A young man rethinks his life’s ambitions.

Miles made it very clear that all of this candy was his. Which was fine, because our position in the back of our neighborhood meant that we didn’t see quite as many trick or treaters as some of the other homes nearby. When I finally brought in our own candy dish, still pretty full, Miles tried to call that for himself as well.

“No,” I said. “This is Daddy’s candy.”

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