Year 5, Day 114

Today was Father’s Day, and I awoke to a Miles who was very eager to give me the card he personally selected.

This isn’t some trick of perspective; he actually did pick out the largest card he could find.

He also gave me a card he had made at school, which featured some of the most human-looking figures he’s ever drawn.

And also what appears to be a free-standing human liver.

Maybe it was the praise that we heaped upon Miles’s artwork, but he immediately changed his tune about what the day was, who the cards belonged to, and who exactly was being celebrated. Can you guess who Miles decided today was really in honor of?

I tried to get a picture in time but couldn’t. This is Miles a split second after saying, “ME,” and pointing at himself with his middle finger, effectively giving me the bird.

Well, with that made clear, I agreed to make Miles a card of his own, provided he allowed me to keep the other cards.

As you might imagine, the “Miles Day” card I made wasn’t quite up to his standards, so our tyrannical toddler took it upon himself to add further embellishment.

So, while I would like to wish everyone a Happy Father’s Day, I’m afraid I must instead bid you all a Happy Miles Day.

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