Year 4, Day 286

Every year around the holidays, as all Amazon Echo owners know, our Amazonian helpmate Alexa will cease to notify us of the contents of delivered packages, lest she inadvertently spoil a Christmas surprise. It’s a small detail, but I’ve always appreciated it, given how many of the gifts I buy for Miles and Jaclyn come from Amazon.

And yet packages show up looking like this:

WOW, AMAZON. THANKS A LOT FOR PRESERVING THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS.

Fortunately I beat Jaclyn and Miles home the day this was delivered and was able to stash it behind several boxes in the garage.* But what if I hadn’t? I GUARANTEE Miles would have spotted this thing on the porch.

GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER, BEZOS.

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