Year 4, Day 233

We got some…prizes in at work this week for the…kids. Anyone, one in particular felt like it had some potential for use at home.

Yes, the words on the right side are “Extra” and “Chunky.”

I brought some home this weekend and bided my time, looking for the perfect moment to enact my plan — wait until Jaclyn was gone and Miles was preoccupied, dump this vile substance on the floor somewhere, then wait for Jaclyn to discover it and blame Miles. This morning, when Jaclyn left to pick up breakfast and Miles was watching Paw Patrol, I found my chance.

I am a horrible person.

As planned, Jaclyn discovered the mass quickly after arriving home. “What is THIS?!” she yelled playfully, sadly not believing that it was genuine vomit but willing to play along for Miles’s benefit. As hard as it can be to peel Miles away from the television, the promise of seeing something disgusting will do the trick every time. He leapt from the couch and darted over to the kitchen, CRACKING UP the second he laid eyes on the slime.

Literally doubled over with laughter.

While my machinations didn’t go entirely to plan, Miles was still so grossed out that he refused to touch it.

“You touch it, Mommy!!!”

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