Year 4, Day 90

As Miles grows up and exhibits ever-increasing resistance to doing literally anything we ask of him, we’ve had to get creative when approaching day-to-day necessities, particularly those related to hygiene. Nevertheless, I was a bit befuddled when Miles let me know, unsolicited, that, “Velociraptors don’t like clean teeth. They don’t like clean hair too.”

Having seen no less than four Jurassic Park movies, I wasn’t entirely sure this was true. It turns out that Jaclyn had found various creative ways to incorporate velociraptors into Miles’s routine, from convincing him to brush his teeth to taking a bath, even just getting him in the car to go to daycare, telling him that they needed to hunt/catch the dinosaurs on the way.

I’m all for it, but I will admit a vision flashed before my eyes, one of Miles, now a middle schooler, writing an entire paper (or worse, giving an oral presentation) filled with misinformation about the hygienic inclinations of dinosaurs.

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