What do all babies need, all men want, and all new mothers wish they didn’t have? BOOBS
You know, when you’re a teenage male, at some point it occurs to you that if YOU had boobs, you’d probably play with them in the mirror all day. As an adolescent, they’re sort of this always-visible manifestation of everything you want and, mostly, everything you don’t have.
As a new dad, I can say unequivocally that I am EXTREMELY glad that I do not have boobs. Jaclyn’s have been sore since yesterday, and this kid’s marathon suckling sessions leave little downtime in between. This kid is a colostrum fiend. He just cannot stop eating.