For a long time, Miles has pleaded and bargained with me not to leave his room at bedtime. “You can sleep here!” he’ll say, or “I have a bed!” and “I’ll make room for you!” or sometimes, simply, “Stay!” Only recently, however, has his bargaining become a bit more shrewd.
I’ll almost always lie next to him for a bit as he’s falling asleep, but of course it’s never enough. As he’s running through his usual string of plaintive phrases, I’ll say something he can’t argue with, like, “I need to go to the bathroom,” or “I need to eat dinner” (this one on trivia nights), or “I need to take a shower.” That last one is perhaps the most effective, because Miles regularly lets us know when we’re stinky.
“Okay,” he’ll agree. But then, the catch, “But JUST go take a shower and come RIGHT back. Don’t do ANYTHING else.”
The Perils (& Pride) of Paternity 