Year 5, Day 175

Miles has largely grown out of having “accidents,” but when he does have them he’s pretty self-conscious about them. “Uh, Daddy,” Miles said this evening. “I pee-peed in my pants.”

“What? Miles, no!” I groaned. Why didn’t he just walk to the bathroom?

“Well it was just a little!”

I rolled my eyes and decided that it was at least good that he had stopped himself from making a larger mess. “Do you need to change your pants?”

“Well yes,” he shrugged.

As I went in to inspect the situation, Miles said, “See? It was just a little.”

“It doesn’t matter, son,” I said. “A little is still too much.”

“Well I didn’t pay attention,” he admitted.

As I got out a fresh pairs of underwear and shorts, Miles impatiently said, “Well we have to go quick before Mommy sees.” Then, he started laying out his master plan to avoid her scolding. “And I can say it was from my water play at school so mommy will think it’s not pee-pee, it’s just water. And Mommy won’t find out.”

Below us, the sound of the garage door opening. “Come on! We gotta hurry so mommy won’t know!”

“Well I think you’re overlooking something pretty important,” I said, pulling on his new clothes. “I can just TELL Mommy what happened.”

Miles gasped. This was truly an option that had not occurred to him. “NO.” I could tell from his voice that this was a stunning betrayal.

Yes Miles, your parents discuss best practices when it comes to parenthood.

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