Miles was not happy on the way to daycare this morning, wailing and screaming about every misgiving he had encountered in the 20 minutes since he had woken up (there were many). In my last-ditch effort to calm him, I turned to humor and the two things he loves talking about the most right now:
“I know you want to see Mommy,” I said, “but she had to go potty. And guess what??”
“Huh?” he asked between sobs.
“Mommy is making a poop as big as a planet!”
Miles started laughing.
“It’s as big as Jupiter!” I said. “And guess what?”
“What?” he giggled.
“The poop has a big red spot on it!”
The laughter was uncontrollable at this point. I knew I had finally won.
“Yeah!” Miles said. “Mommy got a planet poop! And she poop Mercury!”
“Ewwww!” I said. “Is it because her poop is really hot?”
“Yeah!” Miles laughed.
“Miles!” I said in disgust. “That’s gross!”
“Yeah! And mommy poops on Earth!”
I shrugged. “Well, you’ve got a good point.”
(My apologies to Jaclyn for this.)
The Perils (& Pride) of Paternity 