Miles barged into the home office this evening, which he always does with a smirk as he surveys the room and ponders what exactly he should attempt to get into. On this visit, he walked over to the media shelves and retrieved a bunch of Muppet movies.
“I wanna watch all of them!” he said, clasping four movies.
“Miles, you don’t have time to watch ALL of them,” I explained, “but you could watch one. Which one would you like?”
“Uhhh,” he said, studying the DVDs in his hands. “I want to watch this one!” He held up The Great Muppet Caper.
“Okay,” I said as we walked into the living room, “but I’m going to play it on Disney+ so we don’t need to use the disk.”
Miles, of course, tightened his grip on the DVDs. “I want to hold the dicks.”
I shook my head. “You want to hold the DISK,” I corrected.
“Yeah, I want to hold all the dicks.”
“DISK.”
“DICKS.”
“No, no,” I said, trying my damndest. “DIIIIS…”
“DIIIIICKS.”
At this point, Jaclyn was laughing and I was ready to give up.
“I DID it!” Miles exclaimed happily.
The Perils (& Pride) of Paternity 