I’ve written previously about Miles’s propensity for requesting back rubs, a trait that is very obviously encoded in his genetics. But where once he merely asked for such a service, he now issues demands.
“I say rub me!” he ordered the other night as I was preparing to leave his bedroom. Taken aback by his tone and unable to respond in any manner remotely acceptable, I stepped back to his bedside to fulfill his request. After rubbing his back for a moment, Miles turned over. “No!” he said. “This way!” He then placed his hand on mine and forcefully moved it around on his belly. It was alarmingly reminiscent of the way Jaclyn bosses me around during back rubs, going even further towards proving that he is biologically predisposed toward such behavior.
Eventually my wits returned and I realized just how ridiculous this was. “Okay Miles,” I said, “I’m going to leave now.”
“No!” Miles again ordered. “I say lay with me!”
Thus sayeth the master of the house.
The Perils (& Pride) of Paternity 