Year 2, Day 28

Miles seems to be a generally happy kid, but tonight I learned that, when particularly moved, his capacity for complete dismissal can be cold, swift, and relentless.

As Jaclyn was taking Miles to his room to get ready for bed tonight, I darted over to sneak in a quick hug, kiss, and an “I love you.” Miles responded by pointing to the back door and saying, “Bah,” to me, as though telling me that it was time for me to go. Just to confirm, he said it again, this time waving his outstretched left hand. And not a warm, friendly wave — this was a bottom-up dismissive wave, as though I was mere rabble to his lordship and he could no longer tolerate such trifles.

Shoulders sagging, I started walking away, pausing periodically to look back. Each time I did, Miles smiled, only to then repeat, “Bah,” and again point towards the door. Fortunately, I was able to turn this into a game, turning around at the last minute and running back to tickle him, then repeating the whole process a couple more times. Still, it was hard for me to feel like anything other than a glorified jester, my actions serving as a plea for one more day of goofy performances.

…dad life isn’t what I expected, but I suppose I should have seen this coming.

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