Advance warning, and I do apologize for this — this post gets moderately racist due to a particular anecdote from my childhood.
When I was a kid, my dad threw the term “Jap bastard” around a lot. Not in reference to actual Japanese people, whom as near as I can tell my dad had no real animosity for (save maybe some lingering feelings nurtured by his father’s WWII generation). No — every time my dad said this, it was in reference to a toy or electronic device that had clearly been manufactured in eastern Asia. Japan? Maybe. China? More than likely. The point of origin really wasn’t important — anything that was even a little complicated to set up or that came with poorly translated instructions was a Jap bastard.
I bring this up because I have now encountered the first Jap bastard of my tenure as a father. The item in question is a cute little rocking…elephant? Didn’t know they made those, but sure, why not? It’s just a tad big for Miles right now, but it goes with the decor in his room and was a nice gift from Jaclyn’s aunt and uncle.
It was also a real bitch to put together. I’m including a shot of the directions below, with some added steps and annotations that, upon completing the task to the best of my ability, I feel the company that manufactured the elephant (incidentally, from China) left out.
Great Uncle Matt read this and was ROFL. This is because of the experiences he has had with Great Aunt Sherri purchases. He has spent many a day into the night putting things together. We do hope that Baby Miles enjoys the Elephant Rocker.
πΆπ»β€οΈπ
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